Thunder

Recently, I've felt the Lord call me back into the Word.

I have not sat down and read my Bible in far too long.

Sure, I pray and I read devotionals. I watch sermons and I journal.

But I haven't read the Word as fervently as I should.

All too often, I rely on what I already know. 

Sometimes, I don't pursue Knowledge and Truth because I feel I already know enough.

Now, as I am typing, I recognize this as none other than an attack of the enemy. 

The evil one, Satan, who takes and takes and actively opposes me.

He tells me that I needn't read my Bible,

Because I am busy,

Or I already know that passage,

Or I have other things to do.

But, as I am realizing once again, the Word gives life,

For it is alive and well!

There is no other feeling on this planet comparable to when I am reading Truth.

I feel complete, centered, eyes fixed on the One who saves.

He pulled me back to basics, into Romans.

Even re-reading chapters and books I've read before

Gives me new perspective, a new "filling-up". 

Every chapter is a new message that I need to hear.

He speaks clearly to me in these Words.

As I contemplate how to address sin in my life, He gives me, "But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code" (Romans 7:6)

As I worry about events that have yet to occur,

He provides me with the Words: "...neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future...will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39)

And just as a finish reading Romans 8,

A singular thunder clap in the sky resounds,

Almost as an exclamation point to His Word,

Casting my attention, my heart, onto Truth once again.

His provision is everywhere.

He reaches out His hand always.

Oh, to be in the care of the Most High.

A child of the God of Thunder, Truth, Redemption.

What more shall I desire?

Broadway Dreams

I was the girl with the hairbrush

Singing into it at the top of my lungs

Stopping only to run the mic through my short brown mop top, perpetually tangled.

I was the girl who listened to Céline and  Streisand instead of the Spice Girls. I had dreams bigger than my little body could contain. I wanted the stage, the lights, the attention. 

I wanted to sing for more than my elementary school talent show. More than backseat signing, more than the hairbrush. Broadway, I wanted Broadway.

I craved attention and affirmation, praise for my talents. Worthwhile. 

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I accepted Christ when I was about 15 years old. Praise, in this new life, was given to my Savior, not myself. Like magic, my desires to own the stage disappeared; as I discovered the beauty of Christ more, my personal desires ruled less. 

I stopped thinking about the fame and performing. I didn't want to be anyone's "Idol". The "X factor" in my life was grace and redemption. Friends and family pressed me, "so when are you gonna make it big?" to which I would reply, "I already have."

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This year, I have had the extreme privilege of being a member of VirtuOSO. Working with these 13 talented musicians has made me the happiest I've been in college. I find a great deal of fulfillment in working with a team towards a common goal. For me, it is always about the group. I am honored to represent VirtuOSO on stage. I believe in who we are. Always have, always will. 

We didn't expect to get this far.

We have placed first in both our quarterfinal and semifinal round. We are over the moon thrilled to have advanced; VirtuOSO, the underdogs, the kids in it to have fun. Tomorrow morning, we leave for finals in New York City. We perform at the Beacon Theater on Broadway, home of many great shows (including the Tony's). 

What amazes me, beyond VirtuOSO's extreme fortune, is how the Lord has brought me to my deepest desires, but on His terms. For the last 5 years, I have done my best (as a broken, undeserving human), to make manifest the glory of God. VirtuOSO is an outlet of praise for me, a close community of friends. Despite my letting go of the earthly desires of attention and self-seeking, He still gave me this one-in-a-million opportunity to sing on Broadway. 

My God is a God of fulfilling dreams, dreams that He sets in our hearts at inexplicable times and brings them into the Light when He deems most glorifying. Father, I will glorify You in this moment, in this dream come true. Not because I want, but because You give.

To Him be the glory, honor, and power.

Time

Time: an uncontrollable conundrum.
We've organized it brilliantly,
Keeping tabs on it, controlling it,
But all the labels in the world can't help the fact
That time goes on without a care of what we think about it.

Whether or not we call the light "day"
Or lay our heads down at "night",
Time will do as it pleases,
Either vastly oblivious we have tried to contain it
Or fully aware that we keep it tied up.

But between each tick and tock,
There are moments that live in between time,
Moments that cannot be captured by a time frame
Or an exact hour.
Sometimes, life takes a surprising amount of time.

Falling in love took no time at all.
Time was irrelevant when I called him my friend,
When we walked side by side and thought of nothing in particular,
Time passed without me watching,
Life happened without me counting.

Three days time was all it took;
In three days time, I fell in love with my best friend.
Not an astonishing amount of "time" had transpired,
But astonishing moments have been happening since,
Outside the confines of time, almost cosmic.

With him, I look up and say,
"You've really outdone Yourself."
Together, we say,
"Help us be more like You."
Never in all my time did I think I deserved that kind of love.

Now, as I take my imaginary reigns of time,
(For I know I have no say in it's pace),
I long to speed it up;
To race through to the milestones,
To avoid every time I am alone.

But what have I now but endless Time?
With my Almighty God, I am limited only by this earthly body.
All the Love and Time I have to give comes from Above,
For he is the Holder of Time; He wears Time on a pendant
And does not dictate how we choose to use His Time.

I will be forever grateful to my God,
For with His Time,
He has allowed me to love and be loved.
He has given me love that I do not deserve.
I will spend my time praising His gracious name.


"But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day." 2 Peter 3:8