My hands were shaking. No delicate butterflies flew around in my stomach: more like bats wreaking havoc! Drew Shirley noticed me smiling at him and grinned right back at me as he tuned his guitar.
"Holy sh.." I said out loud.
"If you'd like to meet the band Switchfoot, please form a line at the t-shirt booth."
If only I ran this fast in 8th grade track.
Luckily, I had already bought my t-shirt: a cotton tank with the band members silhouettes staring off into a pink and orange sunset. Classic Switch, of course they would do something hipster.
I bounced my knees anxiously as the band members each got closer to me, making their way through the line. My favorite band of all time, walking right towards me. Suddenly I was conscious of my hair, my red face. The two girls in front of me looked quizzical: "which band is this again? One Republic?" Here I am dying of anticipation and over-active bladder while the two girls in front of me have no idea who Switchfoot is. I want to say to them, "excuse me, but this band changed my life. Please leave." But I don't-- I'm too focused on what I will say to the band. Will I chatter? Will I be speechless?
Drew, the one who smiled at me just minutes before, approached me first. Then Jerome, Chad, and Tim. Finally, Jon Foreman approached me, shaking my hand firmly and asking for my name. His bodyguard takes our picture. I look into his squinted eyes, looking for some truth, the thing that makes him special to me. I asked him to sign my t-shirt, next to the 4 other signatures. I decided to open my mouth. Somehow, the words came out as if I was a good friend of his.
"Jon, I just have to tell you... I'm a songwriter. And your lyrics have set the standard for me. I want to write music the way you do. Music that impacts people, lyrics that say something."
He shook my hand a second time, humbled.
"Thank you for saying that, Megan. It really means so much. Good luck on your songwriting. Don't give up on it!"
"Thanks, that's really encouraging!"
He touched my shoulder, the way my best friend might after giving me advice. "It was so good talking with you, Megan."
The members of Switchfoot looked like normal people up close. They sounded like guys I might have met in college, just passing by. Since I started listening to them in 2007, they always seemed so far away. They seemed too incredible for me to ever know. Yet there I was today, shaking hands with Jon Foreman as he gave me advice about songwriting. But these were normal guys, in the end. We were on the same level in that moment, both sweaty and excited for a great show. Americans celebrating the 4th.
For the concert, I got as close to the stage as I could, standing at the fence that separated us by only three feet or so. Jon came right in front of me, got up on the sub, and gave me a smile. He looked right into my camera and sang, "this is your life--are you who you wanna be?" I'm not sure if he remembered me when he looked at me. I'm sure after meeting millions of fans, they all start to look the same. I'll hold onto the small glimmer of hope that he meant to look at me while singing those words.
Am I who I want to be? Is simply writing songs that no one will ever hear what I want to do? Is teaching and teaching alone all I want to do with music? What's holding me back from performing? I want to impact people, and I have so much to give through music.
Maybe it's time for me to listen to Jon and not give up on this big dream of mine. This dream that I could make music that changes peoples lives.
Abba, Father: create in me what only You can create, something no person or band could make manifest. Show me what you made me for. Know that whether I sing for thousands or only for myself, I sing to You. Thank you for this miracle we call music. Amen.
"This is your life; is it everything you dreamed it would be when the world was younger, and you had everything to lose."
