New

The following are the only bookmarks I have on my toolbar:

1. "Baylor University": My school, my new home, my Baylor. I access this sight constantly, searching for the Academic Calendar, Online Directory, official pictures of RGIII, whatever.

2. "Blackboard": The site Baylor uses to update class information and grade reports. I also access this site frequently; when you're paying nearly a quarter of a million dollars to go to school, grades start to matter immensely. Or, at least, to me they do.

3. "Law Stymies, Haitian Adoptions": An article from the Washington post about the ridiculous, impossible, tangled adoption system in Haiti. Anyone that knows me well assuredly knows that I left my heart in Port-au-Prince, Haiti last summer. God grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a good shake, declaring, "these are my people; what are YOU doing about this?" I know it seems odd, that the kind and merciful God we learn about in church would give me such a powerful, intimidating, and quite daunting vision. But He did, and I do not wish to question it. I read this article often because I want to be reminded why I am so passionate about global adoption. I read this article to get angry about the way things are.

5. "Haiti: Intercountry Adoption": This bookmark is quite similar to the one above, however, it is the official site comparing Haitian adoption laws and the regulations the U.S must follow in order to be sensitive of those laws. I read this so I can know exactly what I'm up against: He has made it clear to me that I will adopt, and I pray that He will use me in order to change these impossible adoption laws.

6. "Tiffany & Co., The Tiffany Circlet": Ok, so this bookmark is not quite as noble or just as all the others. It's just a beautiful engagement ring that I happened to see when walking into a Tiffany and Co. outlet. I could twist this into some greater meaning, saying that I keep this bookmark to remind me that someday I will be married and until then, this reminds me of the beauty of what is to come... and now that I think of it, that's quite poetic... but no, it's just a ring I like. No profound meaning other than, "Ooooh, pretty!"

7. "RZIM: Helping the thinking believe. Helping the believer think.": This is the official website of one of the coolest men of all time, Ravi Zacharias. If you've never heard of him, do yourself a favor and look him up. He has an incredible testimony and love for the Lord, and it overflows in each of his talks, sermons, and Q&A's. I am inspired by the way he speaks on behalf of the Kingdom, and can only pray for such eloquence.

I've noticed how God has changed me since my acceptance of His Son. This change is not one than affects a certain portion of my life, but it is one that has permeated through the core of my being and ravaged who I am and will be for eternity. Three years ago, the bookmarks on my browser would have been drastically different. However, these changes are the least important: He makes all things new: not changed, not altered, but NEW. Indeed, I am not Megan 2.0, I am a daughter of the Most High, Jesus. The Author of Life Himself.

We are coming upon a new year, new priorities, new relationships. But every day, every breath, is my opportunity to have new life in Christ. And not on my own accord or doing, but by His redemptive blood. It is finished, we are redeemed. An event that does not occur but once a year, but every moment. We are offered new life. New life with, for, and through the Creator of the Universe.

Time and Puppetry

Oh, how very stressful the future can be.

I just spent over two hours with my dad working on a four year plan, complete with specific courses at my new home, Baylor University. This was a very exhausting and discouraging task: prospects of graduating in four years are looking low. 

But I realized something both humbling and indeed, beautiful: I am not the possessor of one day, one hour, or one minute of any time on this planet. I sit and plan for four years ahead, assuming that I have that long, assuming that this time is mine to manipulate. No amount of my puppetry could ever add a minute to my life. Everything that goes according to my plan only exists as a result of God allowing mine and His to flawlessly coincide. 

This is my second day in Honolulu for Christmas break, but it was supposed to be my third. Due to travel complications (detrimental flight delay, getting kicked off a flight, you know...), I was forced to spend the night in a strange city (San Francisco) by myself after a grueling day of travel and running on no sleep for 30+ hours. Certainly, that day did not go according to my plan. What was God's intention in all of this? How did He prove more sovereign in my life my delving out some serious inconveniences; how dare He! 

The truth is, I've noticed that He has been, more so than ever before, teaching me about the concept of time. He is showing me how not a single moment is my own. Even the simple act of breathing, of inspiration, comes from His will, and I take too much credit for that.

How is He telling me to spend my time? Four more years at Baylor? Summer school? Haiti? A decent job? I plan and I plan, yet these attempts have proven futile. Lord, open my stubborn heart for your will for the time You've allotted. Allow me to do what You created me for. Show me what I unjustly hold onto and what You deem unnecessary. Time is an all-encompassing force that is beautiful and mysterious, something I will never fully comprehend yet succumb to all the same; yet, then again, so are You.