Busy God

It never ceases to amaze me how little I actually do in my life.

Yes, if you know me even a little, you know that I am constantly moving. I am involved in several campus clubs, teams, activities, etc., as well as being a 20-credit hour music student. I hardly sleep, and lately, even eating has become a lesser priority (which, again, if you know me, is unbelievable!)

But me, myself: I hardly do anything to make my life as incredible as it is. It's all Him. He is always giving.

Even in the midst of those moments where I feel He is absent in my day, my thoughts never travel far on this path. It is so obvious how He is moving in every aspect of my life. He is active in my friendships, academics, mission pursuits, prayers, and  even my song writing. So yes, I am physically doing a lot of work. But God is busy in my life. God is making all of these fruits manifest within me.

It's just incredible to think about: When I first became a follower of Christ, I prayed for two things specifically:

1. Wisdom
2. To be a vessel

I longed for wisdom after reading Solomon's writings and realizing what an incredible gift it was to have. Wisdom asks more than what the "right" or "moral" response is; wisdom as this life-altering connotation. Wisdom says something can be "right" yet still be "unwise". I wanted that discernment, not only for myself, but to share with others.

I prayed to be a vessel of the Lord, overflowing with spiritual blessings only to be filled again. I wanted, no matter how difficult or challenging, to be a servant of our great and powerful God! I wanted to be whatever He wanted me to be and let go of all the minor, insignificant plans I had for my life.

He has been faithful to these two prayers of mine.

He proposes to me every day. He shows me just how much He has for me, in this small 24-hour time period, and brings me back every time I wake up. He makes Himself known through me, and that's all I could ever hope for. My education, career, status, and even desires are secondary to my primary title: Daughter of the Most High.

Thank You, Lord, for being all that You've promised. Blessed be Your name.

Smack

I slapped a girl yesterday.

Ok, ok. Calm down. It wasn't out of anger, and we weren't fighting. But I did slap her. Right across the face. It didn't leave a mark and I doubt it even hurt that bad.

Wow, maybe I should have opened with something different...

Anyway, here's what happened: She was being very unfair to herself. This young woman is incredible, inspirational, and drenched with God's love that it is simply contagious. Not to mention the fact that on the outside as well as the inside, she is incredibly gorgeous.  And when she persisted to use adjectives about herself that were in stark contrast to who she truly is, I just had to slap her. I knew my words wouldn't stop her, so I just had to do something drastic.

Admittedly, she says she was "joking", but even so, I couldn't bear to hear them come out of her mouth. As soon as I did it, she stopped. My plan was successful! However, 2 seconds later, she proceeded with the ever-understandable, "Did you REALLY just slap me?" Ah, it seems my plan was thwarted.

Luckily, we are still friends and she forgave me for being an idiot. But honestly, it was just too much for me to hear her speak untruth about herself. This personal heresy was just too overwhelming.


One of my favorite Christian rap songs (yes, I said Christian rap) is called "Beautiful" by PRo. The convicting and encouraging lyrics of the chorus say: "God ain't make you like anybody else, don't let nobody tell you that you're anything less; 'cause you are beautiful." This song really began to gave me a clue about how much God sees us as truly beautiful- and not because of the clothes we buy, the eyeliner we paint on, or the products in our hair. He is the only being in the universe that does not see us for our exterior perfection. I suppose I knew this in theory, but I have only recently began to believe it and take comfort in it. He sees us as beautiful for the work we do in others, when we bring His Light to dark places, and when we speak truth about His name.

I would not suggest, my dear friends, slapping girls when they are feeling vulnerable. I got lucky in this situation, for this girl is quite forgiving and loves me too much. Remember, it is everyone's personal responsibility (and privilege) to affirm and encourage those around us. I will most likely not go about it in this same fashion in the future, however :)

So yes, I slapped this poor girl (not hard, mind you!) But only because, through Christ, I have received the privilege of seeing her as a Daughter of the Most High, a Princess, the brightest gem in His Crown. I see her for the love that exudes within her. I want to see people the way God sees people. I want to love them with a powerful, undeniable, God-given love. I want to stop at nothing in order for people to see Him and know Him better, simply by doing the wonderful task of calling someone "beautiful".

Will you join me?

New

The following are the only bookmarks I have on my toolbar:

1. "Baylor University": My school, my new home, my Baylor. I access this sight constantly, searching for the Academic Calendar, Online Directory, official pictures of RGIII, whatever.

2. "Blackboard": The site Baylor uses to update class information and grade reports. I also access this site frequently; when you're paying nearly a quarter of a million dollars to go to school, grades start to matter immensely. Or, at least, to me they do.

3. "Law Stymies, Haitian Adoptions": An article from the Washington post about the ridiculous, impossible, tangled adoption system in Haiti. Anyone that knows me well assuredly knows that I left my heart in Port-au-Prince, Haiti last summer. God grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a good shake, declaring, "these are my people; what are YOU doing about this?" I know it seems odd, that the kind and merciful God we learn about in church would give me such a powerful, intimidating, and quite daunting vision. But He did, and I do not wish to question it. I read this article often because I want to be reminded why I am so passionate about global adoption. I read this article to get angry about the way things are.

5. "Haiti: Intercountry Adoption": This bookmark is quite similar to the one above, however, it is the official site comparing Haitian adoption laws and the regulations the U.S must follow in order to be sensitive of those laws. I read this so I can know exactly what I'm up against: He has made it clear to me that I will adopt, and I pray that He will use me in order to change these impossible adoption laws.

6. "Tiffany & Co., The Tiffany Circlet": Ok, so this bookmark is not quite as noble or just as all the others. It's just a beautiful engagement ring that I happened to see when walking into a Tiffany and Co. outlet. I could twist this into some greater meaning, saying that I keep this bookmark to remind me that someday I will be married and until then, this reminds me of the beauty of what is to come... and now that I think of it, that's quite poetic... but no, it's just a ring I like. No profound meaning other than, "Ooooh, pretty!"

7. "RZIM: Helping the thinking believe. Helping the believer think.": This is the official website of one of the coolest men of all time, Ravi Zacharias. If you've never heard of him, do yourself a favor and look him up. He has an incredible testimony and love for the Lord, and it overflows in each of his talks, sermons, and Q&A's. I am inspired by the way he speaks on behalf of the Kingdom, and can only pray for such eloquence.

I've noticed how God has changed me since my acceptance of His Son. This change is not one than affects a certain portion of my life, but it is one that has permeated through the core of my being and ravaged who I am and will be for eternity. Three years ago, the bookmarks on my browser would have been drastically different. However, these changes are the least important: He makes all things new: not changed, not altered, but NEW. Indeed, I am not Megan 2.0, I am a daughter of the Most High, Jesus. The Author of Life Himself.

We are coming upon a new year, new priorities, new relationships. But every day, every breath, is my opportunity to have new life in Christ. And not on my own accord or doing, but by His redemptive blood. It is finished, we are redeemed. An event that does not occur but once a year, but every moment. We are offered new life. New life with, for, and through the Creator of the Universe.

Time and Puppetry

Oh, how very stressful the future can be.

I just spent over two hours with my dad working on a four year plan, complete with specific courses at my new home, Baylor University. This was a very exhausting and discouraging task: prospects of graduating in four years are looking low. 

But I realized something both humbling and indeed, beautiful: I am not the possessor of one day, one hour, or one minute of any time on this planet. I sit and plan for four years ahead, assuming that I have that long, assuming that this time is mine to manipulate. No amount of my puppetry could ever add a minute to my life. Everything that goes according to my plan only exists as a result of God allowing mine and His to flawlessly coincide. 

This is my second day in Honolulu for Christmas break, but it was supposed to be my third. Due to travel complications (detrimental flight delay, getting kicked off a flight, you know...), I was forced to spend the night in a strange city (San Francisco) by myself after a grueling day of travel and running on no sleep for 30+ hours. Certainly, that day did not go according to my plan. What was God's intention in all of this? How did He prove more sovereign in my life my delving out some serious inconveniences; how dare He! 

The truth is, I've noticed that He has been, more so than ever before, teaching me about the concept of time. He is showing me how not a single moment is my own. Even the simple act of breathing, of inspiration, comes from His will, and I take too much credit for that.

How is He telling me to spend my time? Four more years at Baylor? Summer school? Haiti? A decent job? I plan and I plan, yet these attempts have proven futile. Lord, open my stubborn heart for your will for the time You've allotted. Allow me to do what You created me for. Show me what I unjustly hold onto and what You deem unnecessary. Time is an all-encompassing force that is beautiful and mysterious, something I will never fully comprehend yet succumb to all the same; yet, then again, so are You.