Be Blessed

There is a man who works in my favorite residential dining hall who teaches me the same life lesson every time I see him.

This life lesson is simple but powerful, and it's got me thinking lately.

Every time I come into the dining hall and whenever I walk out after my meal, this young man says the same thing to me: "have a good day, ma'am, and be blessed."

Now, what so perplexes me about what he says lies within the second half of his response. Every time, without fail, he says "be blessed".

He says this to every student without knowing who they are or what they're planning to do that day. He says this statement without any foreknowledge of the students' faith or what they may be struggling with. He does not need any of that information.

I may be over-thinking this (which, you know, I do from time to time, hence the blog), but I really think his greeting and farewell are a great example of how we should view God's desire to bless us. "Being blessed" requires nothing on our own part, nothing of our own human strength. "Being blessed" is the equivalent of receiving blessing, not working for it. It means to stand with outstretched arms in the presence of our Father and say "Thank You" rather than "what do I need to do to get You to give me stuff?" No, this simple phrase "be blessed" is just another way of saying "look around you! Look at everything He's given you. And He ain't done yet."

This, to me, is just beautiful: God gives me the words of this young man every lunchtime to remind me that He is never far and never unwilling to bless. I am reminded of Ephesians 1:3-4 when I hear these unfailing words:

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes."

So be blessed. Don't try, just open your eyes and see. Just bask in it. It truly is a life-changing realization.

Living Water; Guatemala 2013

This is my thank you letter that I am sending out to all of those that supported my trip to Guatemala. I wanted to put it on the blog just so that anyone can read a little more about our experience there, if they wanted to. Thank you again, everyone!

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”- John 4:10-14

Dearest friends and family,

            Right now, I’m sitting at my desk in my room at Baylor University. I am surrounded by a mountain of homework and laundry, yet all I want to do is reflect on my trip through this letter. I want to show you just how life-giving this voyage has been for me.

I wanted to write you to say THANK YOU for your support for my trip to Guatemala. The fact that I sent out letters a mere 3 weeks before the departure and received many donations really shows me God’s hand over this trip. However, I am still fund raising this trip, so that’s a bit stressful. But I believe that God will provide. I could not have gone without your help, and I am so thankful for you! My gratitude towards you propels me to share with you the details of my trip.

             As I mentioned in my original letter, I decided to go to Guatemala only a few weeks before the departure date. It was a very difficult decision for me, but I felt God pressing this opportunity on my heart. Despite my lack of preparation, I decided to say “yes” to Him. The other catch was that I would be a driller for the water well. I am not skilled at any sort of manual labor and don’t know a lick of Spanish, yet there I found myself in Guatemala City last Saturday, staring at my surroundings and wondering how God was going to use us.

            We drove from Guatemala City to Antigua. Antigua is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. It is rustic and authentic, the perfect temperature, and so welcoming. I loved getting the chance to walk around the city and get a feel for the attitude of the people. My team was able to bond more in these initial days in the beautiful Antigua. We retreated to the Living Water house for the first night. The next day, we drove to Nueva Conception, the village where we would be drilling. This village was far different from Antigua. Very run down and dirty, it just screamed poverty. Now we knew where we needed to be.

            Then came the drill. We began by mixing cement, digging out a filtration system, and setting up the rig. Each member on the drill team got the chance to man the rig, replace the pipes, clean out the trenches, and log the samples of sediment derived from each dig. This was a tedious and very specific process, but after the first few feet, everyone was able to get the hang of it. I watched the children of the school play off in the distance. I wanted so badly to go and love on them, but as I held pipes and grease in my hands, I knew that what I must be doing was right there at the rig. They needed water more than they needed my hugs.

            Already, I was seeing how different this trip was from Haiti. In Guatemala, my task was much more specific and difficult. I couldn’t always play with the children. I was exhausted from the work I was doing. But, as challenging as the task was for me, God pulled me through it- the work eventually became easier and even secondhand. The Lord showed me how even though my heart was with the children, He would use me in this task to bring glory to His name.

            And oh, how glorious is His name! We hit water at 125 feet, giving way to a powerful aquifer. The next three days gave us time to set the piping and get the clean water running through. Immediately, children began stripping down and showering in the blasts of the clean water! The team was incredulous, at a loss for words. We couldn’t believe we actually built a well.

            Eventually we had time to play with the children and talk with the villagers. These people were kind and giving, always cooking for us and begging for our hands to hold. One of my greatest memories of the trip was when four adolescent girls braided my hair and asked me how many children I had. (In most small villages in Guatemala, girls are married around the age of 16). Getting to experience these cultural differences opens my eyes to how God works for multiple people groups. Even though these people had so little, they loved the Lord with all their heart, soul, and strength (Luke 10:27).

            The entire goal for the week was to hit clean water. Without this water, the cycle of poverty would only continue. Clean water would be the potential catalyst to bring these people out of that devastation. During this week, my ultimate task was to get that well finished so these people could live healthy lives. I couldn’t imagine anything more important, more sustaining and satisfying, than the clean water that would come from that well. As life-giving, pure, refreshing, miraculous, and as satisfying as it was to see that water come out, the living water of the Lord is more. This well will last them for generations, and even after that, will only need minor repairs. Who knows, maybe by then, all of Guatemala will have clean water. Even still, this thing that will give them life in a way they never knew before pales in comparison to living a life through Christ and receiving the grace of the Father. That, my friends, is the truth that this trip engrained in my mind and changes my life every time I think on it. Not only does God save us from ourselves, but He wishes to give us everything. Everything. And I am so thankful that I could be a part of what He wanted to give to these people in Nueva Conception, Guatemala.

            “Real life starts tomorrow”, said one of the team members yesterday at the airport. Yes indeed, our responsibilities and school work must be attended to now as we are abruptly thrown back into American culture. But real life is what we were doing out in Guatemala. Real life is completing the tasks the Lord gives us and testifying to the good news of God’s grace! (Acts 20:24). We are agents; we are given the privilege of spreading that news. We get to take part in the true living water.

            Thank you again for your support: you all are my miracles J 

Prayer Center

I certainly fear the Lord.

We've all heard this phrase; the command to "fear the Lord" is found all over. Psalms and Proverbs are particularly saturated with it:

• "Fear of the LORD is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."

            -Proverbs 1:7

• "Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom."

            -Psalm 111:10

• "The secret of the LORD [is] with them that fear him; and he will show them his covenant."                                         -Psalm 25:14

My whole life, I thought I thought this "fear" meant to simply be reverent to the power and majesty of God. In fact, growing up in Sunday school, I was taught that this fear was specifically not that typical don't-turn-off-the-lights kind of fear we are all used to. Sure, since I've become a follower of Christ, I've done my best to be reverent of my God, trying not to provoke or anger Him.

But recently, He's shown me what it really means to fear Him.

For the past few months, during my prayer time, I've felt that God has told me to be a "prayer center". Now, the first few times I heard this, I was confused as to what a "prayer center" meant. After weeks following, I realized that He was calling me into a lifestyle change of being in constant communication with Him. I believe He wanted me to pray not only constantly but with conviction and expectation. Previous to this, I thought I had already been doing that. But it wasn't until this past semester that I really started to see how God was not only answering prayers, but He was being responsive to very specific prayers and situations. Theoretically, I suppose I knew that God knew my every want and desire, but I don't think I knew that by me simply bringing them to Him, in full surrender, that He would be pleased with that. 

Isaiah 36 talks about how God was wished to bless and protect His people because they prayed to Him with that same conviction He was calling me to. He performed ineffable miracles in order to show the love He had for His people. I see the same response from my God today.

The reason this new found prayer life inspired this fear of the Lord: God answered some prayers I never thought would be answered. Some are too personal for me to really display. He very quickly showed me that when I pray with the belief that He can do anything, He makes Himself more glorious to me. 

I fear Him because I can now more clearly see how He really can do anything and will listen to His children. I am more aware of the words I use when I pray, for I know the impact they might have. I see His power more dramatically portrayed now more than ever, and I am straight up scared of what He is capable of. I want the Lord to hear me, but even more, I want to hear Him. He has made so many things known to me by answering prayer. 

To Him be the glory, for He is The Miracle-Worker, Father, Teacher, Comforter.

I am honored to have the opportunity to watch Him move.

Genres

I don’t have a favorite genre of music. 

Whether it be classical, choral, jazz, hip-hop, disco, musical theater, indie-rock, you name it, I love it. 

I can experience the same heavenly, transcendent experience listening to Beyoncé as I do Eric Whitacre. My musical palate is not limited to a certain kind of meter or key signature or even instrumentation and connotation. Whatever I’m listening to, in that moment, becomes my favorite song. 

I'm entranced by the strained, cigarette-stained throat of John Mayer as well as the animated, computed voice of T-Pain. When I put my iPod on shuffle, I close my eyes and let music take me in. I can see Randall Stroope’s cufflinks shimmer in the concert hall as “The Conversion of Saul” commences just as well as I see Michael Jackson’s glove delicately touch the microphone. I hear the Lord clap his mighty, appreciative hands at the soulful skill of Bille Holliday’s “They Can’t Take That Away From Me” and also for Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue”.  

My soul is moved from earth to heaven in these sacred moments. One ‘music’ with succeeding, daughter sects does not exist; music is one, whole, and all-encompassing.

Music is greater than the boxes we put it in. It is more powerful than most realize. So no, I don't have a favorite genre. Music itself is my favorite genre. Each succeeding beat is a new revelation.

A new perspective. A new moment.

Can you hear it?

A Cleanse Like None Other

For the past two days, I've eaten nothing.

Since Monday, all I've consumed has been the Master Cleanse, a drink that consists of distilled water, lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. This drink is known for it's success during weight loss, and after I found that out, I was sold.

I'm not unlike every other girl, despite my life in Christ; I still feel uncomfortable in my body and wish I was "prettier" and "skinnier". Certainly not all the time, though. Still, I felt this consuming desire to partake in this cleanse in order to lose weight and jump start a healthier diet. I heard from several people that this sort of thing was actually good for the body, so I figured that was a perk to my scheme.

Let me tell you this: worst two days of my life. While drinking this awful-tasting thing, I experienced nausea, fatigue, crabbiness, and obviously, hunger. Never before have I thought of food so much. I guess while preparing for this cleanse I thought that I would be able to handle the unpleasant taste of the drink, but did not foresee being so hungry. The taste was unpleasant, but not unbearable. Although the cayenne pepper did leave a painful aftertaste at times.

I have to digress back a few weeks to make my point firm. For the past several weeks, I find that I'm always consoling young girls and women my age that there is no need for them to be crash dieting, starving themselves, or exercising excessively for weight loss: "You are beautiful right now! Don't base your worth on the number on the scale! Don't put a numerical limit on how God views you!", and so on and so forth. I was preaching an awful lot on self-worth, even writing songs and my last blog post about it! I had young girls approach me profusely with "thank you"'s the past few weeks with how my advice helped them so much in rediscovering their self-confidence. I felt so overjoyed to have been used this way by our Father, the One who loves us no matter our weight, shape, or size.

He loves us far beyond our quantity (or lack there of, in some cases). He loves us even beyond many of our qualities. Unconditional means without condition. I was preaching unconditional love to young girls.

I did not apply this unconditional love, acceptance, beauty, or grace to myself, though.

Not that I didn't think that God loves me no matter what I look like, but I equated my beauty with the number on my scale; I wanted to be thin for me, and unjustly so. I wanted the image, the fantasy, the attention, none of which are justified reasons to go on a crash diet, not for me at least.

I tried to apply a spiritual element to the cleanse, claiming that since this is the Lenten season, I could pray every time I got hungry. But I could not admit this as legitimate for long: How could I give God this "sacrifice" when it was not intended for Him in the first place? It was all for me. For my pride.

I know this was only a 2 day period of not eating. How could I have realized such a profound thing in 2 days, you might be asking. Well, I pray an awful lot. I pray for closeness and wholeness in Christ, and when one prays in that way, God tends to show up. I believe that He convinced me to stop after such a short time because one can only go so long living with Christ beside them before realizing their unwise paths. He spoke to me through friends that were concerned, and even more than that, spoke through friends who straight-up demanded that I stop.

I also figured that this cleanse was something I wouldn't want to tell my good friends or family about, which, for future reference, probably means it's not a wise idea to begin with.

Please don't misunderstand me: I'm not saying that dieting and living a healthy lifestyle are sinful matters. Not at all! I believe that our bodies are temples and that we should care for them properly. But what I was doing was not for health or "cleansing". The only cleansing I can experience with guaranteed effects is the blood of my Savior, who forgives me and welcomes me home every time I come to Him with tears in my eyes.

I suppose "cleansing" is a loaded word. One could go on a cleanse, as in a diet, to rid their body of impurities. One can cleanse themselves externally, to eliminate the obvious physical imperfections. But the cleanse that I needed, the one that actually benefited me these past few days, was a reminder of my Father who cares for me and sees me as more than a body.

He sees you as a child, one that He created like no one else. You are cleansed through Him. That's all we really need.

"She checks out her reflection in the mirror, for some reason, 

she don't see that beauty is in the picture. 

Thinking her image's flawed, He ain't make her like those models. 

Thinks her figure's a mistake, He only making Coke bottles. 

Nah, coke bottles are plastic, mannequins are plastic, 

but you are fantastic."

 -"Beautiful" by PRo

Busy God

It never ceases to amaze me how little I actually do in my life.

Yes, if you know me even a little, you know that I am constantly moving. I am involved in several campus clubs, teams, activities, etc., as well as being a 20-credit hour music student. I hardly sleep, and lately, even eating has become a lesser priority (which, again, if you know me, is unbelievable!)

But me, myself: I hardly do anything to make my life as incredible as it is. It's all Him. He is always giving.

Even in the midst of those moments where I feel He is absent in my day, my thoughts never travel far on this path. It is so obvious how He is moving in every aspect of my life. He is active in my friendships, academics, mission pursuits, prayers, and  even my song writing. So yes, I am physically doing a lot of work. But God is busy in my life. God is making all of these fruits manifest within me.

It's just incredible to think about: When I first became a follower of Christ, I prayed for two things specifically:

1. Wisdom
2. To be a vessel

I longed for wisdom after reading Solomon's writings and realizing what an incredible gift it was to have. Wisdom asks more than what the "right" or "moral" response is; wisdom as this life-altering connotation. Wisdom says something can be "right" yet still be "unwise". I wanted that discernment, not only for myself, but to share with others.

I prayed to be a vessel of the Lord, overflowing with spiritual blessings only to be filled again. I wanted, no matter how difficult or challenging, to be a servant of our great and powerful God! I wanted to be whatever He wanted me to be and let go of all the minor, insignificant plans I had for my life.

He has been faithful to these two prayers of mine.

He proposes to me every day. He shows me just how much He has for me, in this small 24-hour time period, and brings me back every time I wake up. He makes Himself known through me, and that's all I could ever hope for. My education, career, status, and even desires are secondary to my primary title: Daughter of the Most High.

Thank You, Lord, for being all that You've promised. Blessed be Your name.

Smack

I slapped a girl yesterday.

Ok, ok. Calm down. It wasn't out of anger, and we weren't fighting. But I did slap her. Right across the face. It didn't leave a mark and I doubt it even hurt that bad.

Wow, maybe I should have opened with something different...

Anyway, here's what happened: She was being very unfair to herself. This young woman is incredible, inspirational, and drenched with God's love that it is simply contagious. Not to mention the fact that on the outside as well as the inside, she is incredibly gorgeous.  And when she persisted to use adjectives about herself that were in stark contrast to who she truly is, I just had to slap her. I knew my words wouldn't stop her, so I just had to do something drastic.

Admittedly, she says she was "joking", but even so, I couldn't bear to hear them come out of her mouth. As soon as I did it, she stopped. My plan was successful! However, 2 seconds later, she proceeded with the ever-understandable, "Did you REALLY just slap me?" Ah, it seems my plan was thwarted.

Luckily, we are still friends and she forgave me for being an idiot. But honestly, it was just too much for me to hear her speak untruth about herself. This personal heresy was just too overwhelming.


One of my favorite Christian rap songs (yes, I said Christian rap) is called "Beautiful" by PRo. The convicting and encouraging lyrics of the chorus say: "God ain't make you like anybody else, don't let nobody tell you that you're anything less; 'cause you are beautiful." This song really began to gave me a clue about how much God sees us as truly beautiful- and not because of the clothes we buy, the eyeliner we paint on, or the products in our hair. He is the only being in the universe that does not see us for our exterior perfection. I suppose I knew this in theory, but I have only recently began to believe it and take comfort in it. He sees us as beautiful for the work we do in others, when we bring His Light to dark places, and when we speak truth about His name.

I would not suggest, my dear friends, slapping girls when they are feeling vulnerable. I got lucky in this situation, for this girl is quite forgiving and loves me too much. Remember, it is everyone's personal responsibility (and privilege) to affirm and encourage those around us. I will most likely not go about it in this same fashion in the future, however :)

So yes, I slapped this poor girl (not hard, mind you!) But only because, through Christ, I have received the privilege of seeing her as a Daughter of the Most High, a Princess, the brightest gem in His Crown. I see her for the love that exudes within her. I want to see people the way God sees people. I want to love them with a powerful, undeniable, God-given love. I want to stop at nothing in order for people to see Him and know Him better, simply by doing the wonderful task of calling someone "beautiful".

Will you join me?